Being 'stuck'

Lockdown. Social distancing. Travel bans. The same people, every day, all day. No wonder we're in the state that we're in (depression and suicide stats?). And it's not just physical confinement. Extra laws, fear-mongering, fake news, sheeple, the utterly staggering degree of selfishness and greed of many country leaders. And the mask non-compliant. The psychological strain has been immense; limiting your options or making you think three times before leaving the house. It's no wonder we're rates of depression are soaring. We're physically stuck.

I love to translate life things into yoga, or yoga into every day life. Maybe just because that feeds into my own opinion of why I do what I do (helping people to help themselves, basically), or because it's a way for me to make sense of this physical body in a physical world with so many deeper and higher layers and meanings. #existentialism. But it's been true in my life since I started yoga. I've noticed many links between my practice and my life, usually in hindsight (does that make it more or less prone to being a 'grasping at straws to make things make sense' kind of thing?)

In yoga we often come across the term, or at least the feeling of being 'stuck'. Usually in the hips (because so much of the asana practice focuses on and requires hip flexibility), but also in the hamstrings, the shoulders, and in pretzel poses where you're not sure exactly how to undo yourself without breaking... (#pushingtoohard?)

What I've learned though, is that practice is key. If you're stuck - with a pose, with hips, with life - just... keep going. Make small adjustments or improvements every day, if you can. Or just whenever you can. Alwys be open to the possibilities. And be gentle on yourself.

I threw myself into work (and inadvertently, doing yoga asana regularly) during the beginnings of Covid, and, unintentionally, I did a lot of practicing on areas that I hadn't focused on much (because it's good to teach what you're not good at) as well as areas that I was already strong in (because teaching your strengths is nice too!). As a result, my asana practice got unstuck. And as a bonus (I guess I should've expected this) I've started feeling a lot less physically confined. So while we're still in lock-down, and probably will be for a long time still, I've managed to make a massive shift.

And it feels glorious.

But you know the absolute bestest part of all of this?? I've seen shifts in my clients, too. Some small, some huge. But undeniable. And some of them have noticed it too, which is an added bonus (because yay mindfulness and being aware of ones own body and mind and stuff!).

Just keep on keeping on. You've got this.

Be FREEEE!
(ah, the good old days of doing yoga outdoors at the Da Vinci hotel)

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An idea is born

So, Covid19, eh? It's been a weird and interesting time. A roller-coaster time, really. A bunch of curve-balls got thrown into the mix, too. Because, you know, it never rains, it pours 😐

But let's turn focus to the positives, shall we? (It's really weird how the word 'positive' seems to have garnered a bit of a negative connotation...)

MoveMe's yoga classes moved online relatively seamlessly. A few technical difficulties and hiccups aside, I've actually really enjoyed the virtual connections. Yes, in-person is ideal, sure, but some movement is far preferable to none. I feel like I've gotten to know different aspects to people than in person, especially with private one-on-one clients. For myself and clients alike, just the connection with people other than who you're stuck with (*makes note of another blog topic) was welcomed, and beautiful.

This brings me to two very special clients that I've had the incredible privilege of working with. The most committed yogis I've known (besides other teachers - but we tend to go a little bit overboard!), and ones that have been an inspiration to me, an encouragement, a sounding board, and usually just outright fun and creativity. Yes, mom, I'm talking about you 😊 and of course, my amazing sister.

To say that their yoga practices have transformed is such an understatement. I feel truly privileged to have seen them grow stronger and more connected with their bodies and its movements. It's been a great reminder of why I'm doing what I'm doing. I've seen them almost every day since our lock-down began, bar three unavoidable exceptions.

Every session I'd ask them what they would like to work on. And every day is a combination of random poses or focus-areas. My mom loves to push herself and work hard. She usually gives me at least three different things that she wants to achieve in any given session. And while that is sometimes an impossible task that needs some toning down, more often than not it turns into a marvelous mix of fun, panting, laughing, learning and growing.

The other day my mom requested toe stand, and bird of paradise (and side crow). My sister piped up and asked if we could go from one straight into the other. And so an idea was born 😃😁

So I've decided to challenge myself (and you 😁) to find ways to transition between random poses (or, at least find the shortest path from one to the next). Or spend the next few months building the strength and/ or flexibility to make it possible...

If you happen to have some pose ideas, throw them (names, pictures, descriptions, videos - whatever) at me and let's see what we can come up with! 😃 I'll add those poses to the growing list, and I plan on picking poses by throwing dice... (throwback to my good ol' D&D days).

K, let's do this!!

Photos from a while back, because documenting progress is important and fun, but not my strong point 😊

Toe stand - circa 2018 

Bird of Paradise - circa 2018 

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Onward & Upward

With everything Covid going on, Move Me has moved all classes online. This has had its own bunch of issues - technical, spacial, logisticial; and in terms of scheduling, advertising and communicating. It's been scary, and exciting, and definitely not what I saw this year bringing! Many things that I was looking forward to, now won't come to fruition, and I've taken some time to process and deal with that. But there have been some amazing things that have come from it, too. I get to see and talk to my mom and my sister every (week) day now! I've been able to assist people in staying sane, getting strong (or stronger), and starting on their (long-overdue!) journeys of reconnecting with their bodies. I'd dare to say that many of these things wouldn't have happened, or wouldn't have been possible had it not been for the whirlwind that 2020 has brought us.

On a personal level, lock-down for me started with some unpleasant health issues that turned decidedly more unpleasant before it finally healed up. That was a journey that I'd prefer to never repeat... Interestingly enough, my body still starts shivering and shaking when I recount the memories. I was given no option but to back down from my physical practice (which was a serious bummer, because I was the strongest that I had ever been, and I had finally gotten to a point where I was completely happy with my body. I was a bit annoyed, to say the least. But also grateful to be alive 😁 #cognitivedissonace

For two solid weeks I did nothing physical. I felt like my strength was withering away. And it was being replaced with cravings for anything and everything unhealthy and delicious! (I'm by no means saying that those two are synonymous - please don't misinterpret that!) I had been in a position before, a few years ago, where I had to stop doing anything and everything physical for a while - I took a month off doing anything in order to assess if what I was doing was the cause, or even an agitator, of my chronic lower back pain. What I recall so vividly from that experience was that when I started doing yoga again (because doing nothing made the pain worse, thankfully!) I was stronger than I had been when I stopped in the first place. Don't ask how. I don't question things like that! For the very first time I was able to get seamlessly into Eka pada bakasana! Whoohoo!

Anyway, so I clung to that memory in slight desperation, hoping and wondering if a similar thing would happen when I eventually got back on the mat. (On a side note, teaching online without demonstrating was really difficult, but I learned a lot there too!)

After three weeks of not doing anything, I could feel that I had lost some strength. I'd lost some of the control that I had gained over the movements of my body. My flexibility wasn't as good either. But, you know what, at least I practice again. There was no miraculous moment of "ooh I can do something I wasn't able to do before!" or even a "thank goodness I can still do this!". But you know what else? Patience.

I got back into my work and into my practice. I took it one day at a time. I think there was so much else going on that I kinda forgot to set goals for myself? Or something. Two months later, I was playing around with some gliders with my sister and lo and behold I was sooooooo close to doing a straddle press. Like, millimetres away. I tried it again an hour or so later, against a cupboard because I am terrified of unsupported handstands. And it happened. Just like that.

And now I can do a straddle press 😊 and also I can bind my toe in pigeon pose on the one side.

Just like that.

So, long story short, do not EVER give up. Setbacks are temporary if you listen to your body, and persist - slowly, mindfully and with a smile.

Eka pada bakasana on the beach. I miss the beach.

Mermaids pose, a prep step towards pigeon pose where you hold onto the toe with your hands (instead of the elbow) and you have your chest facing straight forward (instead of twisted like I am here)

Also, I should learn at some stage to record myself attempting new poses. Maybe in 2021.

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Where to from here?

I won't lie, I've been feeling a bit lost. There have been several changes in my life, vast majority of them great. But with change comes some instability, I guess. Readjusting to, playing around with, getting used to, and seeing the ripple effects of change.

In a yoga practice (and in life) you want change. That's what we strive for. Without change we'd be stagnant, stuck, with no growth. Change is something that we'd usually celebrate. Being able to hold a handstand when you were never previously able to, for example, would be a fantastic feeling! ("would be", because I still haven't gotten that right yet. Ugh.)

On the flip side though, not being able to do a back bend anymore when that was one of your best poses is also change, but more a change that needs to be dealt with and accepted (been there, done that). It can be seen as a 'negative' change. Or you could choose to see the lesson in it.

So where is the lesson in this instability and fear that I'm feeling? But also, why am I struggling with it when the changes themselves were so positive?

Staying grateful for the positivity is definitely something that I needed to learn (as is each little bit of progress on my handstand). Trusting that the change will lead to better things (and that it's not just the change itself that was good) requires a leap of faith. It also requires persistent effort to making the best of each new thing that arises. So, I guess I'm saying that I need to listen and look out for the positive more? Just keep on keeping on. Keep practicing. Keep doing the yoga.

So, with one foot in front of the other, slowly and steadily, I keep moving. Perhaps this week I'll teach more flow, to just keep going, quietly and mindfully.

Or something like that.

Almost sorta' got it... I mean, I can get up there, against a wall, but I'm still way off from actually holding it away from the wall...

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Hello to new beginnings

If you've been following the website or our Facebook page, or you're a new or existing client, you'll have seen that things have changed a bit... We have a spectacular new studio in the most amazing setting.

I have had the immense privilege of partnering up and working with amazingly amazing women to help me on this new venture. I won't mention names, but you guys (should) know who you are! You all rock!

This whole turn around has also made me very much aware of how awesome many of my clients are. The support and understanding that I've gotten has been tremendous. I am absolutely sure that it will all be worth it once you see and start sessions in the new space. But thank you to you lovely people!

...this is sounding a bit like an Oscars thank you speech...

*music starts playing*

Come check out the incredible new space and the new extended timetable! And also our open day on the 7th of March... save the date so long, details will follow soon!

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Trust

ANOTHER BLOG POST?? ALREADY?
What can I say, when inspiration hits, it hits hard.

So, I was just having a chat with my sister and she’s trying to encourage me to write more, or at least trying to convince me that my posts really aren’t that bad and that people actually like reading them - or at least that’s what the stats say? I find myself in a position of needing to just let go and trust her.

But this isn’t the only time that this kind of trust thing has come up for me recently. I had to let go of some crappy stuff that I was terrified of ‘losing’ (inverted commas because it turned out that I gained so much more from letting go that ‘loss’ hardly played a role) and that took a lot of trust that other, and hopefully better things would come along.

I’m really modest, often to my own detriment. But the message has been coming across pretty persistently that I’m actually not that bad at what I do, and that perhaps, maybe, I’m actually really good at it. Maybe I really do have a knack for helping people and seeing things and knowing how to go about shifting things. But just to type that has taken so much (letting go and) trusting people (and their results, too) that I’m wondering if perhaps I don’t have major trust issues… *jots down notes for next therapy appointment*

I’m also wondering now how trust can play into your yoga practice, and I guess there it would be all to do with trusting your body, trusting the process, listening and being kind to yourself (more on this here).

My sister and me. She looks trustworthy, right? 

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