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Friday 13 December 2019

Beginners yoga course


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Wednesday 11 December 2019

It’s back. And wrists and ankles and hips.

I had a period of about three months where my pain was all but gone. It happened after a break up that seems had been perpetuating issues and patterns from my childhood. He’s not a bad guy, he just wasn’t great for me. Or, he was, in terms of how much I learned about myself while we were together. I digress.

My body seems prone to side effects of medications, and I’ve had some of those get worse over the course of this year. Since my pain had started dissipating and stressors had changed, the doc and I made a change to my meds. Aaaand the pain started coming back. I now seem to have tendonitis in my wrists, ankles, knees and hips, and from today, in my SIJ. The link with the medication is my (and my physio’s) guess. It may also be because I haven’t been using the same cannabis treatment. I’ll keep you posted. It may be in five months time when the blog urge peaks again, or it may be in four weeks time once I’ve, a) Started on CBD tablets again, and, b) Gone back onto old meds if the CBD doesn’t help.

In the meantime, I’m staying positive, because CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy - read here) does have its place, and because I’ve attained two new clients who are/ have been going through the same autoimmune/ chronic pain ordeal that I slogged through, and I cannot tell you what a massive difference it makes to have people around you who understand. Me for them, but so much them for me, too. If you guys are reading this, thank you :)

Fibromyalgia Treatment (2)
JUST FOUND THIS AMAZING ARTICLE ON FIBROMYALGIA!! And it has a cool picture, too.

Also this picture from here about fibromyalgia. It isn't just one thing.
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New concepts

So, turned out that LETTING GO of some of the 'baggage' that I was holding on to actually had a massive impact on my pain levels. A LOT of therapy had gotten me to start realising and dealing with childhood stuff, and then some alternative healing sessions got me to a space of actually letting go of said issues, and then my pain all but vanished. For a while (but more on that here).Image result for yoga quotes
(update to New words)

So, turned out that LETTING GO of some of the ‘baggage’ that I was holding on to actually had a massive impact on my pain levels. A LOT of therapy had gotten me to start realising and dealing with childhood stuff, and then some alternative healing sessions got me to a space of actually letting go of said issues, and then my pain all but vanished. For a while (but more on that here).

Insert new word:



Well, not new, really. Just a very necessary clarification.

Psychosomatic means that there is a link between mind and body (I love my ‘business’s’ name), but it doesn’t mean that any pain experienced as a result of stress is in the person’s head. It is, in the sense that all pain is an interpretation of stimuli by the brain, but it isn’t in the sense of being ‘made up’. I struggled with that for YEARS. I had specialists (the ones who charge R1600 for half an hour ‘consultations’) tell me to go to therapy for my lower back pain. Yes, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) has its place in pain management, especially in learning to cope with chronic pain, but it isn’t going to heal your pain, because the pain isn’t all in your head, it isn’t made up. And only if you’ve been in that situation would you understand how frustrating and infuriating it is to be told that. And to have to pay that much to be told that crap.



This can all sound contradictory, I know. And it took me a long time (about four years from the first real ‘sign’) to admit and acknowledge just how strong the link between mind (in this case mainly chronic stress) and body (chronic lower back pain) is. It seems that having dealt with past stress and having let go of situations that were perpetuating that helped my brain let go of the overwhelming pain stimuli. I still have degeneration in my lumbar spine. I still have arthritis in several joints. The autoimmune stuff is still there. Stress had a physical effect on my body. The physical effects were triggered by psychological issues, but I have not made up the pain, I did not consciously decide or choose to be in pain, and I cannot just ‘let it go’ or ‘get over it’.

*deep breath*

Years of CBT has helped me get up in the mornings, and years of psychotherapy has gotten me to a point where I can acknowledge and let go of shit. And that has helped me to retrain my brain to not over react to pain stimuli. It took YEARS of work. As for the psychosomatic side, stress caused physical harm to my body*.

So if you come across someone who’s experiencing chronic pain, be nice to them, k? Thanks.



*derived from a process of elimination, with no other possible explanation besides, perhaps, an unknown/ undiagnosed autoimmune disease (most of which are still impossible to diagnose properly, and the etiology of which is vastly unknown


Image result for yoga quotes
Dunno who said this initially, but it rings too true
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Monday 9 December 2019

(Actually) Letting go



So, again it’s been ages. Maybe this writing stuff down thing just isn’t for me? Even though I love it when I do manage to get into it… Or perhaps it’s just that too much happens that I want to write about that I just get overwhelmed. Or the fatigue from having an autoimmune icky-thing. Or just that it’s been a really busy period in my life. Who knows. Who really cares, and quite frankly, what does it even matter? Like, be in the present moment and stuff already.

So here I am with half an hour or so before my client arrives.


And letting go has been a big theme for me this year, but especially in the last few months. While letting go can be difficult and painful, hindsight reveals that it’s really well worth it, specifically in the sense of creating space for better things and people.

Where I’m really going with this ramble is that my studio space is moving to a bigger space that is also awesome and beautiful and wonderful! I’m going to be working closely with someone else who is also awesome and fabulous and will take some of the workload off, which might even make more space for me to type up my random thoughts! Perhaps then they will be more coherent and ordered :) It also means that I get to have a lounge again!!

In conclusion, if you happen to be reading this, and you happen to be in a place where you’re unsure of letting go of something that you’ve realised may not be great for you, stop hesitating and cut it loose. Besides, you never know what you might get in its place unless you go for it.

Namaste, peeps.
Namaste

(Hahahahaha, I just saw and read my old blog post about knowing when to let go. Guess I finally decided to actually do it, albeit several months after the fact… all in good time, I guess!)

Image result for namaste
A definition, because meaning is important

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The death of me

In retrospect, the past two years have been horrendous. And as I type this, I realise that it's pretty much exactly two years ago that things started changing. Details are not important, but suffice it to say my mental and physical wellbeing were put to the test. There were times that I couldn’t see a way out, there were times when I almost gave up completely. Actually, there were times when I did give up. That resigning, letting go, surrendering.

It was my sister, and a fantastic friend who were always there to remind me that there was good, that I was good. Cuen was a pillar of support, completely unjudgmental, and always there if I needed to talk or vent or cry or find out how to go about admitting myself to a special hospital… Yes, times were rough. No, I didn’t actually go. Because I had support, all around me were caring and loving friends whom I could and did speak to. About everything. …I’m almost embarrassed to admit that there are some almost complete strangers that know my whole life story… Over share was not on my list of cares.

But looking back on it now, it was because of that openness and (over)-communication that I came through it all. Talking was the therapy that I needed to put things into perspective, and to move on. It was the support of good people that kept reminding me where I was headed, and where I needed to let go.

Now I totally get that talking isn’t the optimal choice for everyone, but I’ve also seen the absolute horror that can come from complete silence. We need people around us, to bounce ideas off of, to get different opinions, for support and care, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to vent to. Friends or strangers or psychologists. Your choice. But choose one.

I think I’ve come through the darkness. I’m hesitant to say it out loud for fear of being smited by the good ol’ universe… But who I am now is so vastly different from who I was, and I am so much stronger, so much more confident, and so much more focused on my own life. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is such a cliché, but it’s true.

(And in my modesty) It feels like I’m a phoenix, risen from the ashes. The death of who I was, was a necessary step to becoming who I am meant to be.

At least I hope that’s what it was.

Reaching for the stars.
Vasistasana is a great pose, and a strong pose. And the slipping sand makes it harder. Just like life. 

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About Janine

Janine studied at Wits, where she qualified as an advanced Aesthetician, specializing in Aromatherapy, Reflexology and Sports Massage. Not only has she worked as a Doula, volunteering her time and passion at the Hilbrow maternity unit delivering babies, she has qualified to be a Yoga Instructor through The Wellness Connection. Her Yoga qualification is certified internationally with the Yoga Alliance.

Janine studied at Wits, where she qualified as an advanced Aesthetician, specializing in Aromatherapy, Reflexology and Sports Massage. Not only has she worked as a Doula, volunteering her time and passion at the Hilbrow maternity unit delivering babies, she has qualified to be a Yoga Instructor through The Wellness Connection. Her Yoga qualification is certified internationally with the Yoga Alliance.

Jan is dedicated and passionate, and strives to do her best in everything she does. She won’t rest until she is satisfied with the results. Her work ethic and immense willpower are profoundly tangible when around her, creating a Yoga environment which brings out the best in every individual.

"A quote from The Bhagavad Gita: “Yoga is the journey of the self, through the self, to the self”. This describes Yoga in just a few words, however to ensure your journey of self is on the right track, I will strive to give you the perfect opportunity to control your body and mind, therefore making your Yoga experience one of a kind."

Janine was born on April 1st, 1972. She is happily married with three beautiful children; Twin boys who are in their final years of School, and a daughter who is dancing professionally in Scotland with a touring Ballet company.

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